The Different Types of Grief: Understanding What You’re Feeling

When we lose someone or something important, grief doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all pattern. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Am I grieving the right way?” or “What type of grief am I experiencing?”, you’re not alone. Understanding the different types of grief can help normalize your feelings and guide you toward the support you need.

At Changing Tides Therapy in Ottawa, we help individuals navigate the complex waves of grief with care, understanding, and evidence-based approaches. Here’s a closer look at some of the most recognized types of grief.

1. Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief happens before a loss occurs. This is common when someone is facing a terminal illness or an expected life transition, like moving away or retiring. You may feel sadness, anxiety, or even guilt as you imagine the impending loss.

Signs you might be experiencing anticipatory grief:

• Feeling anxious or fearful about the future

• Experiencing sadness or tearfulness before the loss

• Trying to “prepare” emotionally for what’s coming

While it can be painful, anticipatory grief can also give people time to process, say goodbye, and make meaningful memories before the loss.

2. Complicated Grief

Sometimes grief becomes intense, persistent, and difficult to manage, even months or years after the loss. This is known as complicated grief. Unlike typical grief, it can interfere with your ability to function day-to-day.

Signs of complicated grief include:

• Persistent longing or preoccupation with the deceased

• Feeling numb or disconnected from life

• Difficulty accepting the loss

Complicated grief often benefits from professional support. Therapists can provide strategies and tools to process the grief safely and move toward healing.

3. Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief occurs when society doesn’t recognize your loss as legitimate. This can make you feel isolated or judged for grieving. Examples include:

• Losing a pet or a miscarriage

• Ending a relationship that others “didn’t see coming”

• Experiencing a loss tied to stigma (like certain types of addiction or estranged family relationships)

If your grief feels invisible or unsupported, know that your feelings are valid. Finding a therapist or support group that acknowledges your loss can make a significant difference.

4. Situational Grief

Situational grief happens after unexpected or life-changing events, such as:

• Job loss or financial instability

• Moving to a new city

• Major health changes or accidents

Situational grief can feel intense because the event disrupts your life and expectations. Unlike bereavement, the loss is not about death but about the loss of the way life used to be.

Moving Through Grief

No matter the type of grief you’re experiencing, it’s important to know that there is no “right” way to grieve. Grief is personal, unique, and non-linear. You may move between these types, experience multiple forms at once, or feel aspects of grief that don’t fit neatly into one category.

At Changing Tides Therapy, we provide compassionate, individualized support for grief, whether you’re in Ottawa or connecting with us online across Ontario. Our therapists help you understand your feelings, develop coping strategies, and find a path toward healing.

If you’re struggling with grief, reach out today. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

How to Support a Partner Through Grief: Insights from Research and Real Life

Loving someone who is grieving can feel like standing on unsteady ground. You want to help, but you might worry about saying the wrong thing or not doing enough. The truth is, grief is both universal and deeply personal — no two people move through it in exactly the same way.

Fortunately, decades of research give us helpful guidance on what kinds of support actually make a difference for partners who are grieving. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, certain themes consistently appear across studies. These insights can help you show up for your partner in ways that nurture both them and your relationship.

Presence Matters More Than Words

When someone we love is hurting, it’s tempting to reach for the “right” words — but research shows it’s not about having perfect answers. What matters most is being there.

Sitting beside your partner in silence, listening with empathy, and allowing their feelings to surface without rushing them communicates something powerful: you’re not alone in this.

Listen First, Act Second

Support is most effective when it matches what the grieving person actually needs. Sometimes that’s a shoulder to cry on. Other times, it’s practical help with meals, bills, or childcare. And sometimes, they may just want space.

Overhelping, or offering the “wrong” kind of support, can unintentionally add stress. The simplest way to know what they need? Ask gently, and listen closely.

Keep Conversations About the Loss Open

Grief doesn’t heal by avoiding the subject of the person who died. Studies show that encouraging gentle, open conversation helps your partner process their emotions and make meaning of the loss. Sharing stories, saying the person’s name, or simply acknowledging hard days can ease the burden of silence.

Balance Space and Togetherness

Loss often shifts intimacy in a relationship. Your partner might crave closeness one moment and solitude the next. Both are natural. What helps most is flexibility: offering closeness when they want it, but also respecting when they need space. This balance protects against feelings of suffocation or abandonment.

Grieve as a Team

Partners who navigate grief together — checking in, sharing feelings, and solving challenges as a unit — often report stronger relationships and less psychological distress. Think of it as “dyadic coping”: grief may be deeply personal, but healing can be shared.

Respect Differences in Grief Style

Not everyone grieves in the same way. Some people prefer to do (handling tasks, staying busy), while others prefer to be (expressing emotions, seeking connection). Culture and gender can also shape how grief is expressed. Instead of assuming, stay curious and compassionate about your partner’s unique style.

Remember: Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

One of the most loving things you can do is continue showing up after the first few weeks have passed. Anniversaries, birthdays, and even small reminders of the person who died can stir up fresh waves of grief. A simple text, hug, or acknowledgment — months or years later — tells your partner their loss hasn’t been forgotten.

Key Takeaways

Supporting a grieving partner isn’t about grand gestures or quick fixes. It’s about:

• Showing up with empathy

• Listening and responding to their expressed needs

• Encouraging open grief expression

• Balancing space and closeness

• Sustaining support beyond the early days

Grief changes a relationship, but it doesn’t have to weaken it. With patience, compassion, and a willingness to walk alongside your partner, you can help create space for both love and healing.

Final Thoughts

If you’re walking this path, know that your efforts — even when they feel small — matter more than you realize. Being present, staying attuned, and remembering the long road of grief are among the most profound gifts you can give.

🐾 Pet Loss and Disenfranchised Grief: Why Grieving a Pet Deserves Recognition

Keywords: pet loss grief, disenfranchised grief, grieving a pet, coping with pet loss, pet bereavement support

💔 Grieving a Pet is Real Grief — So Why Doesn’t Society Treat It That Way?

For millions of pet lovers around the world, a dog, cat, bird, or even a rabbit isn’t just a pet — they are family. They are emotional companions, routine-keepers, and silent therapists. Yet when a beloved animal dies, the emotional devastation that follows is too often dismissed with phrases like “You can get another one” or “At least it wasn’t a person.”

This reaction is not only harmful — it's an example of what psychologists call disenfranchised grief.

🧠 What Is Disenfranchised Grief?

Coined by grief expert Dr. Kenneth Doka, disenfranchised grief refers to grief that is not socially recognized, validated, or supported. It's the kind of sorrow that goes unseen — where the mourner feels they don't have “permission” to grieve.

Pet loss fits this definition perfectly.

• It’s not always socially acceptable to cry over an animal.

• Workplaces rarely offer bereavement leave for pets.

• There are few public mourning rituals for pets.

• Grievers often feel pressure to "move on quickly."

📉 Why Pet Loss Hurts So Deeply

According to psychological research, pet owners can form bonds just as strong as human relationships — especially with pets who were emotional support animals, childhood companions, or long-time members of the household.

A 2009 study published in Death Studies found that pet loss grief can match or exceed the intensity of human loss, depending on the individual’s attachment level. (Field et al., 2009)

And yet… those experiencing this grief are often told to hide it.

🚫 Common Misunderstandings About Pet Loss

Here are just a few misconceptions people face when grieving a pet:

• "It was just an animal."
  → This ignores the deep emotional bond that many humans form with their pets.

• "You can just get another one."
  → Replacing a pet doesn’t erase the loss — grief is not transferable.

• "You’re overreacting."
  → This invalidates the mourner’s emotions, which can delay healing or lead to complicated grief.

✅ How to Support Someone Grieving a Pet

1. Acknowledge their loss
   Say: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how much [pet's name] meant to you.”

2. Avoid minimizing language
   Don’t say: “At least it wasn’t a person.”

3. Encourage healthy grieving
   Help them memorialize their pet in some way — through a photo album, art, or a memorial garden.

4. Suggest support groups or counselors
   Pet loss support groups and mental health counselors can provide safe spaces to process grief.

5. Give them time
   Everyone grieves differently. Avoid setting timelines on their healing.

🗣️ Real Words from Mental Health Professionals

“Pet loss is often a socially unspeakable grief. But to the bereaved, it’s as real as any other.”
— Dr. Millie Cordaro, Journal of Mental Health Counseling

“The lack of formal rituals and acknowledgment of pet loss often intensifies feelings of isolation.”
— Spain, O’Dwyer & Moston, Anthrozoös Journal, 2019

🌱 Healing Starts with Recognition

Pet grief is valid. It is real. And it deserves to be treated with dignity, empathy, and support.

Murphy, my late-sister’s beloved Bernese Mountain Dog, resting on the cottage deck where he loved to sit—his gentle face glowing with happiness.

Whether you're experiencing the loss yourself or supporting a grieving friend, remember this:

🐾 Grief is love with nowhere to go.

Let’s give it somewhere safe to land.

Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving 💙

Fresh From the Therapy Room

I was supporting a client who was expressing sadness and discomfort around supporting a loved one who had had a profound and unexpected loss. As we spoke, I encouraged my client to sit with the discomfort of not being able to stop someone else's pain from impacting them. Not being able to take the pain from someone they love so deeply can be such a deeply helpless place.

While you can know that your loved one is struggling, there is a powerlessness in having to watch them hurt and have to keep living their lives. They still have to go to work, they still have to get groceries… and yes, it's so unfair that they have to do those things because we really should honour people's emotional pain more in our society. There should be more room for us to grieve and take time to be with our sadness and our loss. It should be completely normalized to be away from work during these times.

And yet, many of us are pulled into going on even when we aren't sure if we are ready to.

This feels a lot of like when you smash a Terry Orange, you know it's ready to fall apart on the inside at any moment, and that can be hard to hold… but only the person who experiences the loss gets to decide when they unwrap the chocolate and let the pieces open into the palm of their hands.

📍 Our New Location

Our new office is located at 1439 Woodroffe Ave, in an easily accessible area, designed to provide a peaceful and safe environment for your therapy journey. The new office has been thoughtfully designed with comfort and privacy in mind, making it the perfect space for your sessions.

How to Get Here:

We want to make your visit as stress-free as possible, so here’s everything you need to know to find us with ease:

Directions:

From Woodroffe Avenue (Main Road):

• If you're coming from the south (Barrhaven), head north on Woodroffe Ave and look for the Great Canadian Oil Change on your right. Our office is located just past BackTracks Health Centre.

• If you're coming from the north, head south on Woodroffe and take a right onto Meadowlands Drive. Make a right onto Sullivan Ave, and another right onto Norice Street.

• At the end of Norice Street, you will see the Canadian Oil Change on your right. Turn right onto Woodroffe Ave and enter the parking lot for “Ramila’s Healing Arts”. More details on parking provided below.

Suggested Route

• Note: Be aware that there is ongoing construction on Woodroffe Avenue, which might cause minor delays or detours. We suggest checking real-time traffic updates before your visit or considering alternative routes if you’re in a rush.

• Public Transit:

  • If you’re taking public transit, the closest bus stop is located at the Baseline Park and Ride, which is just a 10-minute walk from the office.

🚗 Where to Park:

We offer convenient free parking for our clients in the parking lot directly behind the building. Look for spaces where there is a painted red fence.

• You can see video instructions here.

• If the lot is full, there is additional parking available at the front of the building.

⚠️ Important Note: Construction on Woodroffe Avenue

As mentioned, there is currently ongoing construction on Woodroffe Avenue, which could affect traffic flow and cause delays. Please allow for some extra travel time to ensure you arrive on time for your session. Here are some tips to help you navigate around the construction:

• Check traffic updates: We recommend using navigation apps like Google Maps or Waze to stay updated on road conditions.

• Alternate Routes: Consider taking Merivale and Meadowlands to avoid traffic congestion. These may be less affected by construction work.

• Extra Time: Allow 5-10 minutes of extra travel time, just in case of delays.

📸 Sneak Peek of the New Office:

To give you a feel of the new space, here are some pictures of the office:

Welcoming Waiting Area
Our new reception area is designed to make you feel at home as soon as you walk through the door. You can arrive early, take off your shoes, and brew yourself a tea while you wait for your clinician to come meet you.

Therapy Room
Each therapy room has been carefully designed to create a calm, soothing atmosphere for you to relax and focus on your session.

🗓️ Ready to Visit? Book Your Session Today!

We’re so excited to welcome you to our new space! If you’re ready to schedule your next therapy session, you can easily book online through our website or contact us at hello@changetidestherapy.com.

Thank you for being a part of our journey! We’re looking forward to seeing you soon at our new location.