Ever feel like you’re trapped in the exact same argument on loop? One of you is desperate to talk it through right now, while the other is suffocating and needs to get away. This isn't proof that your love is broken—it's the classic pursuer-withdrawer cycle. Here is what is actually happening in your nervous systems, and how to stop it.

Ever won an argument and still felt worse afterward? You're not petty or broken. Most of us learned a handful of "losing strategies" that protect us in the moment and quietly cost us closeness. Here's what they are, why they make sense, and a softer way to ask for what you need. Bring a snack. We'll go slow.